Getting Engaged After Divorce

December 09, 2019

Second marriages are becoming increasingly common these days. Many people get married too young or for the wrong reasons. When the relationship ends, people are not always open to another engagement. So, if you find yourself divorced and thinking about engagement again, there are certain things you will want to keep in mind.

Involve the Children

 

Kid standing with arms stretched out

If you are going to get engaged to someone with children, or you have your own, they should be included in the process. Even young children should know and understand what is going on. When it comes to older children, make sure you are clear on their feelings about you getting engaged again. Respecting and including each other’s children can be a great way to start building a new life together.

Tackle Your Fears

 

Woman covering her face with blanket

It is only natural to fear getting married again after divorce. You owe it to yourself and your spouse-to-be to tackle and conquer your fears before marrying them. When you can let go of your fears you will be prepared to face a new marriage with a fresh perspective.

Pace Yourself

 

Gray alarm clock displaying time

Getting engaged after a divorce should never be a race against the clock. You will regret it in the long run if you don’t take enough time to adjust to the idea of making a new commitment to someone else. The longer you wait the better it will be for you and your future spouse.

This is the time to get counseling if you feel you need it. By learning how to avoid the pitfalls of a previous marriage you will make yourself stronger for your upcoming marriage. Often the second time around, people are more mature and make better decisions, hopefully leading to a much more positive outcome.

Share Your Values

 

A person's hand forming the love sign

Second marriages generally last longer when both of you share the same values. Getting engaged after divorce shouldn’t even be a thought until you have discussed what means the most to you. Whether or not you are compatible as a couple has a lot to do with this. This is especially true if both of you would be getting engaged for the second time.

Ideally you both want to avoid making the mistakes you made the first time around. An honest, ongoing discussion about your values can help clarify if you even should get engaged after a divorce.

Avoid Jealousy

Just Say No carved on tree trunk

When getting engaged after your divorce or theirs, it is important to let go of any lingering jealousy. Leaving it in the past will help both of you move on with your future. Engagement after divorce can be scary if you can’t trust each other. Remaining loyal and in love will be a lot easier to do when you aren’t jealous of a former romantic partner.

Assess Your Failures

 

Trust your struggles graffiti

Before you commit to another marriage, you must honestly assess your failures. Identifying and coming to terms with what caused the demise of your previous marriage will help you navigate a new one more successfully. Otherwise, you may find yourself making all the same mistakes as before. When you learn from the struggles of your first marriage, you are less likely to face those same struggles.

Protect Your Assets

family holding hands with kid

Protecting your assets isn’t the most exciting part about getting engaged after divorce, but it is still an important part. While the easiest way to do this is through a prenuptial agreement, there are legal alternatives.

Asking for a pre-nup may put a damper on your new engagement. If so, you should take an alternative like setting up a trust. This way, if you have children, your assets go to them. If you don’t have children, you may prefer getting domestic protection of your assets. When you do, they stay in your name no matter what happens in the future. Many people getting married for the second time need this reassurance.




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